The Letter
I will tell you what 
much as I know
as much as I don't know
you have no obligation
to listen
nor is it my imperative
to tell you

there is something beyond us
that is at work
through me
through you

based on the convention
that you are the son
and I the father

are conventions natural
is nature itself nothing but a consensus
well you might ask
great question
but I don't have the answer

if you are a horizon
I am one too
between the two
incidents and events
and the frissons
of nameless experiences
sometimes verities

am I capable of
baptizing your experiences
into truths

and I don't really know
if you have 
or will eventually acquire
the desire or the capacity 
to translate my truths

but this monologic
conversation
is necessary
as an interior dialog

here again
is necessity a tradition
or an essence
I do not know

But it is a worthwhile question

You did not vote for me to be your parent
I didn't choose you as my son
Our coming together
Is nothing but an accident
Perhaps a coincidence
Within the Big Bang

and yet

I get soul satisfaction
When I talk to you

but I am always
anxious
anxious to a tizzy

that you shouldn't become
the object of my satisfaction

and I am obdurate
that you should keep on talking
and I keep listening

your speech stream
as language 
as verbal sequences
as just sounds

truths
may transpire between us
as a symposium
as dissonance

but this much I know
when I want to talk
you are in no mood to listen
and when you want to share
my ears malfunction

and that exactly is why
we should keep on talking
who knows amidst so many misses
something may
connect

hence this letter
one of many many more
to come

thus
your parent

p.s. 

you may well ask
if my relationship with my father
will cast a shadow on our relationship
or predict it

I am no believer
in the sovereignty of the past
enough for me
the present
its orphaned immanence

I would rather that 
you and I not be serfs
tethered to feudal
continuity

Well, what do you think

p.p.s.

only I now get it

I have addressed the real letter as post
script  and
you know the rest.

Do keep this in mind as you read.
 
 
 
 
 

Translated from Tamil by the author
 
 

R. Radhakrishnan

>>>Determination

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